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1.
crooked road 01:34
The stars in my heart Falling apart Spinning on a crooked road Screaming inside I wanna die Why is this body such a ghost? I swear there’s a pulse Under my skull I don’t wanna cry no more Being alone is getting old I wanna be adored Teach me it’s time to arrive A view of the moon so alive I can’t keep traveling away From tomorrow’s yesterday This crooked road is gonna take me home someday With you I want to stay
2.
Visions are never ending The veins keep on talking I know it’s all far away Are you awake or are you sleeping? Is my mind always crying? The grief is transcending Space and time Bleeding into the sky I feel the concrete and the gravity Keeping me grounded thankfully But sometimes I forget how to breathe The Earth is going to leave Sooner than we think Hey take my money just don’t hurt me Survival instinct - don’t fail this evening My skeleton is shaking If only I hadn’t gone to that movie Now the universe is screaming This nervous system is a prison I forgot how to breathe
3.
I know sometimes you hurt You can share it with me first I won’t desert you Somehow I’ve learned how to be there too I will listen or take you away I can make you dinner whatever it takes To make it all better, that’s what you deserve And that’s when I’m happier Anything is possible As long as we share tomorrow Whatever is in store, I will try to catch your sorrow This is when I’m at my best You give me someone to hold I can leave work early for you And make up the time on the weekend if I need to I can run to CVS and pick up the prescription I can bring you home a bottle of wine We can stream a TV show I know we have the time To get things better again, that’s what you deserve And that’s when I’m happier We can get through it As long as we’re still breathing Anything is possible As long as we share tomorrow Whatever is in store, I will try to catch your sorrow This is when I’m at my best You give me someone to hold When you come back from the pain And I can say something that’s comforting It feels like we are here for a reason To overcome anything We give each other someone to hold We give each other someone…
4.
Love life death You and me and a kiss Earth sun and moon It’ll all be over soon At least we found each other In a darkened room Cold sorrow winter A beautiful disaster There’s so much inside of her A symmetry unparalleled Ocean waves of hope buried in forever We’re on the brink of the end The art of self-destruction But at least we have each other my beautiful friend Anima and on We won’t live long Accumulate the moments Adore the conversation The night eclipse the moon Swimming in the new If the bombs come knocking I want to be with you Fertile flowering stems The trees are always moving The sun will decide when it’s time for non-existence I know this much - that I love her And I will always miss my father But at least we have each other
5.
non 02:58
Our sex was a shipwreck Washed up onto land Scattered bones covered in the sand Wired in the slipstream, suffocating Veins made of leaves, shades of honey We’re boiling We were never prepared for this kind of weather We were never prepared to be so close together We were never prepared to get through storms forever It’s never or now Bad thoughts cutting like a hundred diamonds A wise man said, “there is no sunken treasure” We should try to find new transportation Cut the anchor and sail into each other That’s what this ship is for And the lake keeps on screaming In a Godless pattern We were never prepared for this kind of weather We were never prepared to be so close together We were never prepared to get through storms forever It’s never or now It’s never or now
6.
Getting out of this place Cuz it keeps staring at me All of the twisted memories Exhausted and empty Wanna be brave and healthy Not consuming the wrong things Am I destined to become dust? Sooner than I would prefer, oooh Still hungry for answers So please excuse this curse The dark room is still there But the light isn’t with her It’s in the power of a song But I can’t play it all day long And I know through my words Love can’t ever leave As long as I keep on writing Love will never leave Sometimes I think I might die Sooner than I would like
7.
no way back 03:58
Wishing I could spend all my time Making up for the mistakes Must’ve been out of my mind Shouldn’t have happened in the first place Nothing that I can say To ever take back your pain You deserve so much better anyway There's no way back We say we’ve grown past it But it still feels present Affecting every moment It was the wrong kind of love I’m sorry - didn’t mean to hurt you You deserve so much better anyway Took me far too long To know what I did was wrong Now we live with what I did The memories are never gone Can’t ever forgive, can’t ever forget You deserved so much better, not more regrets
8.
no reason 03:46
Been pulling through Since the last time I touched you Making do with an internet signal Calling for the delivery to the front door There is no reason to believe No reason at all Come together for a moment Look around and dissolve Like a feeling, like a flash Like a fallin' eyelash on your sweater Threading future through the past City of salt, bone and bell tower Country of ice, rain and wild flower Pickin' out the wreath for the funeral lamp There is no reason to believe No reason at all Come together for a moment Look around and dissolve Like a feeling, like a flash Like a fallin' eyelash on your sweater Threading future through the past There is no reason to believe No reason at all Come together for a moment Look around and dissolve Like a feeling, like a flash Like a fallin' eyelash on your sweater Threading future through the past
9.
I don’t want to be here anymore Staring at the ceiling or on the floor Crying in the evening out for more Wishing that you could just come over Instead of dreaming of what I don’t deserve Nothing can ever quell desire Not even sleep or silence Now what are these visions that I see Close my eyes they’re in front of me I don’t know what to believe All I want is for some peace of mind That I only find when you’re nearby What happens when it’s time to say goodbye? I hope we can hold on to one another Even though we cannot always be together This kind of love should help make it better You always make me want to get better
10.
Walked down Foster to have some dinner I saw a sign that said “you are beautiful” I had to point it out at the time Now I could say that every single night Because I get to hear your words become a song That I want to memorize Sorry for always being shy I curled into a ball all of the time Didn’t know I would be blessed to find A heart like yours beating right next to mine I could listen to your beautiful mind All of the day, all of the night Rest together on a bed of twilight Take me under the moon so bright Awake to inspiring sky blue eyes Another morning adoring your beautiful mind Mixed signals may have kept me safe But I never meant to make that mistake Now I could lay in silence and feel your light Your face, your hands, your neck, let me be a magnet tonight
11.
I don’t know why I get so worried Convinced you will fall out of love with me Is it in our bed, or in my heart or in my head? No rhyme or reason, misguided lightning again Can’t resist this restless undertow Even though I try to contain it And learn to let go It’s still there, it’s not going anywhere Can you please just say that you’ll be right there? Can’t get back to where I once belonged Singing songs inside the home my father bought Yes it’s time to look forward to the present tense Even if it means I will always be intense Can you please just say that you’ll be right here?
12.
endlessly 03:51
I wish to be everything that you need Especially in the evening Swimming the sea a heavy heart in an aching body Well all I can do is love you endlessly Dreaming of the moon I only hope to see you soon You get me through these lonely afternoons Thoughts creep and then release Into new mysteries There’s no ambiguity when it comes to you and me Awkward mistakes In a fractured country we can’t shake So let’s turn our moments into memories Keep your hand in mine Our bodies will sync in time Thinking of a future I want us to find I don’t want to think about A life without you holding me Everything might just fall apart But I can’t start to think about the end of endlessly This love is just the beginning Our love is just beginning
13.
all of you 02:48
No I don’t want to go to sleep I just want to feel you breathe In time with the rhythm of your precious heart beat I love all of you, you’re everything When you look in the mirror I hope you can see Overwhelming beauty Sometimes it may not be easy But it is for me to love all of you and everything You’re my first thought in the morning And my last in the evening When I see you smile and hear your laugh There’s no other place I want to be When you look in the mirror I hope you can see Eyes of an ocean swaying Sometimes it may not be easy But it is for me to love all of you and everything
14.
blue rose 04:59
Blue rose speaking code taking control of the night It knows it might get cold but we won’t let go of this light A sea of broken clouds singing out loud a hymn of sunshine Combined in our hearts, a sense of endless time Sitting on the porch, finding comfort With a glass of midnight wine A painting of a dream, a calming symphony May this bloom into forever - stay here with me Ignore all of the wars from before look forward to the future Our fears will always be here But let’s drown them out with nights spent together It’s true, our hearts are still bruised But I do not know what I’d do without you And I know I may not meet all your needs I need to try to be the best I can be This beautiful root should keep growing Another blue rose morning May it bloom into forever - stay here with me

about

all proceeds go directly to benefit Cancer Research: www.cancerresearch.org

syzygy (siz-uh-jē) is 52 minutes of new music - 14 tracks. similar to last year’s “hi anxiety” but this one to me represents my strengths better than any record i’ve made to date. there’s certainly a reason for that - a muse, a source of inspiration, the moon, the stars, the sun. the cover photo was taken one night upon returning home from a movie.

i only told a couple people about what happened after i took that photo - i was mugged in the back alley. the first single i wrote “how to breathe” is partially about that. the rest are about some kind of cosmic synchronicity, accepting death but being grateful for life, love and everything in between. there's an excerpt of dialogue from a favorite movie at the end of track 14.

if you want a bonus track (couple extra minutes), pay $1 or more for this version here which releases on my late great dad’s birthday, 11/21. thank you for listening - there’s more to come including re-releases and uploads of older records from the past so stay tuned!

first review:
bit.ly/3XBados

song review:
bit.ly/3HsHlte

Volodymyr Kotliarov - cello on "no way back"
Glenn Welman - drums on "no reason"

"no reason" is a Big Thief cover.

cover side project: anniversaryparty.bandcamp.com
spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/2d8AdxiXoRv4vTLJL4p1X6
apple music: music.apple.com/us/artist/garden-on-a-trampoline/438281764

credits

released November 22, 2022

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garden on a trampoline Chicago, Illinois

Greg Kot of Sound Opinions & The Chicago Tribune., described one of g.o.a.t's records as "Tucked with introspective lyrics and grand washes of shoegazer guitar."

also on Apple Music, ITunes, Spotify & Amazon and more!

formerly known as James Eric & Automatic Pilot. Also records covers as a side project here: anniversaryparty.bandcamp.com
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